Uber Mom

Ping-pong is not our exclusive contention. My first cousin and I are always combative… maybe excessively competitive. It could be as slight as whom could eat speedier or just plain consume more… whom could eat slower or in smaller amounts. It didn’t matter. If there was a way one individual could trump the other in something, we would compete.

Unfortunately, the small home my wife and I purchased doesn’t have a ton of space for the various manners my first cousin and I wish to compete. Following much calculation, my wife and I at long last set on a billiard table with a table tennis conversion top. Essentially this provides us the ability to play either billiards or table tennis on a single table in the same room.

So now my cousin and my notorious competition proceeds. Of course, he incessantly complains that it isn’t the real thing. Even though he usually bests me in pool, each instance we place the table tennis conversion top upon the pool table, it appears his game errs.

To put it plainly, I think it is because I am just plain the superior table tennis player. But unfortunately, he makes too numerous excuses. The height isn’t right. The dimensions are off. The list goes on. So I got out the measuring tape. The proportions and height were right on to the official table tennis proportions. Then he claimed the table had the wrong bounce; that in some way the pool table below affected the speed and height of the ball bounce.

So we researched the official bounce measurement (indeed, there is an official bounce measurement). It’s for each 30 centimeters of drop, there should be a 23 cm bounce. We tested the bounce in over a dozen placements on the conversion top. In each place the ball bounced virtually perfectly straight up and nearly exactly 23 cm high. So you realize, table tennis conversion tops do a perfectly respectable job duplicating a strong game of ping pong. And my first cousin has no excuses. I’m simply the superior ping pong player.